Sunday, January 24, 2010

Dear California, I will miss you...kind of

I will certainly miss living in LA, it's been very unique.  The quirky local characters, the acceptability of shopping your pajamas, what's not to love? The locals are generally friendly, plenty of hellos, especially if you're walking a dog, even a surly Chihuaha.  In Arizona, passers by usually view you with suspicion, and neighbors can be outright hostile, especially if they're unsure of your political leanings.  The only folks here that don't return a smile or hello are the celebrities spotted at the nearby upscale grocery store, clearly annoyed at having to do their own shopping.  Ron Glass, probably best known for Barney Miller but lately for the underappreciated Firefly, why so glum?  Pictured is exactly the look I got when I gave him my "I'm a fan" smile.   Bob Odenkirk, funnyman and other half of David Cross, what's the deal?  So they're not following the number system properly at the deli counter, you're next in line after me dude, you can wait.

Everything changes when the locals get behind the wheels of their large automobiles.  Driving a small car, I quickly fell into a kill-or-be-killed mentality.  Survival of the fittest was never more evident than on the streets of LA.  Want to change lanes?  Just do it.  Don't signal beforehand as that will give them time to speed up and close the gap!  One morning I missed being t-boned by inches as a giant SUV raced through a red light at Franklin and Argyle. Who could be in that kind of hurry?  Funny thing was, by the time this happened I had experienced enough other close calls that it didn't even phase me.  No butterflies, nothing.  I just continued my drive to work as if nothing had happened.

I will really need to dial it back when I get home.  Need to have a road rage detox or something.  The only thing that even remotely compares to driving in LA is crossing the street anywhere near the Fashion Square Mall in Scottsdale.  Remember, if you see a luxury SUV approaching the crosswalk to turn right, don't assume that car will stop.  She's rich, in a hurry to shop, talking on the phone to someone really important and will not notice you.  She's had so many plastic surgeries, she probably can't even turn her head. I'm sure there's no one like that here.

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